That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
