He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize