If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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