Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
