I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
