Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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