Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
