Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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