Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
