I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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