SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
