Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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