I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize