This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize