Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
