How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
