More tranny stories later!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
