porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
