i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
