Sponge bath it is.
her vagine was all disorganized.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
