i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
