I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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