I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
