Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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