yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
