Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm passing your future prison.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
