What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
