i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
