I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
