But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
