Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
God, I missed his penis.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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