and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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