Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
