If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
