I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
