You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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