She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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