Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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