Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize