i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
two words...techno handjob
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
