Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
