You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
