"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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