we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
