I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
