I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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