my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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