yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
