im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
