so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
