You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
