i just made my gag reflex go away.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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