bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
