Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
