If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
