if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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