Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
