i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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