I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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